This one sounds simple, but can be tremendously involving, difficult and even costly. Make friends. Yes. Essentially, that’s it. It is simple. Friends will always be an asset. Friends can protect you. Friends can save your a$$. Friends can influence the decision of others. Friends can lead to perks. Friends can offer comfort and satisfaction, and they’ll feel great about it. Friends can open doors. Friends can help you bend rules and benefit greatly.
Please, please, please know, when I say friends I am not talking about the banal idea of a Hollywood type situation where someone you’ve known since you were three (we’ll call him or her Jo) ends up saving your life when you fall out of an airplane. You get married to the officer that was taking the report on the bizarre incident, you lead a great life together. But several years later you realize that Jo is your true love and fall deeply in-love, break up with your uniformed spouse and marry Jo. However within a few years, Jo develops cancer, suffers for a few years, because of his disease he becomes miserable and awful to you, you grow apart but you hold on and stay there for him, alas he dies. You’re sad and heartbroken because not only did you lose such a true love, but the guilt and regret of breaking up with the officer has you sick and depressed. You want them back, they are happy with someone else now. You missed the boat on that one. You’re bitter, sad and tormented by this reality you book a plane ticket to a different country to “start-over”. However, it’s the same airline as before, I hope you know where I’m going with this…this time around the whole plane comes down and BOOM. That’s the end of you. Jo’s not there to catch you. No officer to write a fancy report. 143 dead, only 4 survivors. Unfortunately you’re part of the former group and not the latter. NO.
When I say friends I mean the harsh reality that is life. My definition of a friend is someone who closely resembles a pawn on a chess board. If you’re unfamiliar with chess, I mean someone who you can use to your advantage, someone who you can benefit from, someone who you can manipulate, ask or imply things and favours of. This may seem awful. It seems super cynical, but I’m not here to offer you some Disney hubba-bubba puppies and rainbow hodgepodge fantasy, I’m here to make your life more liveable. That starts with coming as close to being face-to-face with reality as possible. Think of one person, the person you’d consider to be one of your closest friends right now. Seriously. Think about that person. What do they look like? What’s their name? Lock them into your mind. Got it? Okay good.
Now tell me this: If this person had $10,000 would they lend it to you, if you REALLY needed it. Yes? Have you asked yourself why? I’m here to disillusion you. It’s because you engaged in something that has most likely taken a long time to build, involving a lot of trust, communication and honesty. Now let me ask you this, would you consider this person who lent you (assuming you said yes) $10K a close friend, or maybe even a CLOSER friends after they lent you the money? Of course you would. Right on. So now let me ask you this: Do you consider your bank manager to be a close friend. Do they make the same list as your first friend?
If you don’t know who your bank manager is that’s okay. I’ll just use the general term bank, we’ll pretend bank is a bit-of a person for now. Have you ever considered your bank your close personal friend? No? Okay, so what’s changed? If you walked into your bank right now and asked to borrow ten thousand dollars, with some background checks, a little bit of paper work, a few signatures, that 10K is the EXACT same currency and worth exactly the same amount you’d have if you’d gotten it from the earlier friend who’s locked into your mind. So why is it that if I creep your Facebook, or scrapbook, or Instagram, or photo albums, or cell phone I will find pictures of you and your close friend, but no selfies tagged: “Me and CIBC” or “Great day at the beach with John from Bank of America”. The truth is, the only difference between the two, are emotions. In this case, the most dominant one being trust.
If you felt yourself slipping into a place where I became less attractive to you, and you felt like you didn’t really know why you were still reading the above. Then you already practice the actual Core Belief I was hoping you’d gather I was implying with the above nonsense: Question Everything.
Just because it’s online, doesn’t mean it’s true. Parts of it may be true, I do endorse the ability of making friends, however, know that if your definition of friend even remotely resembles what I described above, you may want to reevaluate your sense of self and perhaps enlist professional help.